Stabbing Time to Death
Just a few things. I've been meaning to talk about Swedes in grocery stores for a while now and just have never gotten around to it. Figured since I have less than a week left, I'd better get crackin.
Swedes never use full-sized shopping carts, just the little hand-held ones and these special blue ones that you kind of drag after you on little wheels. They put their stuff up on the conveyor belt exactly one thing at a time in a neat row, and they are fanatical about using that little divider-thingy between people's groceries. If you don't put that thing on the belt after you've put all your stuff up there, the Swede after you will literally never put up their own groceries, no matter how much space has allotted between yours and theirs. They'll just stand there, twitching with silent welfare-state fury, showing absolutely no facial expression. If I ever wanted to take over Sweden, I'd just send agents to grocery stores to do this, and all of Sweden would grind to a halt.
Also, there's no bag-person and you have the choice between small, flimsy plastic bags for free and big, sturdy plastic bags that you have to put on the conveyor belt with your groceries (so you've gotta know how many you'll need) because they cost you like 1.5 kroner. They slide your stuff down one side of the metal table-thing that's after the cash register, each side separated by a retractable metal arm thing, which is controlled through some eldritch process by the cashier. In this way two people can be bagging their stuff at one time, but if both of them have a lot of stuff, there's nowhere for the next person's stuff to go, so the line backs up and people just stand around waiting for the damn old people to finish bagging. It can be an arduous experience.
Swedish grocery stores are filled with things in tubes. You can buy damn near anything in a tube: the usual condiments, but also meat and fish paste, pickled herring, fish eggs, all of which are scraped onto crackers and called "sandwiches." I know I've complained about this before, but it gets to a guy, you know?
I've started packing, and have made arrangements to loan out my room while I'm gone to a couple Polish girls I know. Spent the day wandering the city, returning the last set of library books and taking pictures of stuff (and further, realising there's nothing in this town to take pictures of except the cathedral, the river, and lots of trees) since I'm done with everything and have nothing left to do except make the rounds of goodbye parties, watching them dwindle down until finally there's just three or four inebriated Swedes and poor Sofie left.
Been thinking about it, and there's actually some things I'm looking forward to about going home. I mean, legitimately, I do want to go home...but only for a month or so, you know? Just to visit, really. But I am looking forward to seeing everyone, to getting my Netflix addiction back up and running (I already have a list of some seventy-odd films and three TV shows I'm aching to watch while munching on unhealthy food) and I'm looking forward to getting back into some sort of exercise routine. I really was looking forward to doing that this year, but then learned of the prices for gym memberships and consequently am in by far the worst shape of my life. Baseball will be good, and seeing my dog, going to San Francisco, and drinking iced tea. The year won't be bad at all, I expect.
Just...twiddling my thumbs here. Nothin doin. Nothin to see here. Go on about your business, folks.
Swedes never use full-sized shopping carts, just the little hand-held ones and these special blue ones that you kind of drag after you on little wheels. They put their stuff up on the conveyor belt exactly one thing at a time in a neat row, and they are fanatical about using that little divider-thingy between people's groceries. If you don't put that thing on the belt after you've put all your stuff up there, the Swede after you will literally never put up their own groceries, no matter how much space has allotted between yours and theirs. They'll just stand there, twitching with silent welfare-state fury, showing absolutely no facial expression. If I ever wanted to take over Sweden, I'd just send agents to grocery stores to do this, and all of Sweden would grind to a halt.
Also, there's no bag-person and you have the choice between small, flimsy plastic bags for free and big, sturdy plastic bags that you have to put on the conveyor belt with your groceries (so you've gotta know how many you'll need) because they cost you like 1.5 kroner. They slide your stuff down one side of the metal table-thing that's after the cash register, each side separated by a retractable metal arm thing, which is controlled through some eldritch process by the cashier. In this way two people can be bagging their stuff at one time, but if both of them have a lot of stuff, there's nowhere for the next person's stuff to go, so the line backs up and people just stand around waiting for the damn old people to finish bagging. It can be an arduous experience.
Swedish grocery stores are filled with things in tubes. You can buy damn near anything in a tube: the usual condiments, but also meat and fish paste, pickled herring, fish eggs, all of which are scraped onto crackers and called "sandwiches." I know I've complained about this before, but it gets to a guy, you know?
I've started packing, and have made arrangements to loan out my room while I'm gone to a couple Polish girls I know. Spent the day wandering the city, returning the last set of library books and taking pictures of stuff (and further, realising there's nothing in this town to take pictures of except the cathedral, the river, and lots of trees) since I'm done with everything and have nothing left to do except make the rounds of goodbye parties, watching them dwindle down until finally there's just three or four inebriated Swedes and poor Sofie left.
Been thinking about it, and there's actually some things I'm looking forward to about going home. I mean, legitimately, I do want to go home...but only for a month or so, you know? Just to visit, really. But I am looking forward to seeing everyone, to getting my Netflix addiction back up and running (I already have a list of some seventy-odd films and three TV shows I'm aching to watch while munching on unhealthy food) and I'm looking forward to getting back into some sort of exercise routine. I really was looking forward to doing that this year, but then learned of the prices for gym memberships and consequently am in by far the worst shape of my life. Baseball will be good, and seeing my dog, going to San Francisco, and drinking iced tea. The year won't be bad at all, I expect.
Just...twiddling my thumbs here. Nothin doin. Nothin to see here. Go on about your business, folks.
posted by Eccarius | 12:02 PM
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